Feminism -- A few more thoughts

There must be something in the air, you see, because as soon as I wrote my article in defense of style I stumbled upon a whole group of ladies who blog about fashion and feminism. I have to say, I do not entirely agree with certain stances on feminism, although I do appreciate all points of view on this.

My feminist thoughts veer around the idea that in truth, as much as sometimes we do not like to accept it, being a woman is not just having a vagina. We are biologically .... much beyond that Otherwise, how do you explain that some people simply feel like a woman, even when born in men's bodies, for example. Because being a woman is much more than a physical state. A woman's biology goes beyond the genitalia and marks our psyche, our inclinations, tastes, behavior, movements, desires, attractions and so on. We are different and until we accept that, we cannot possibly achieve peace.

The big problem with how society is built and fiercely maintained, is that our particular brand of difference is considered inferior. Our particular, feminine inclinations (see fashion), attractions, desires, way of thinking, are not valued as much as the masculine counterparts. Women are more sensitive. Yes. The problem is that sensitivity is viewed as a weakness. Women do tend to choose family and home against job and social status. The problem is that family and home cannot be quantified in money or power and only those are valuable in this society. Which is just wrong. Women are biologically inclined to have a broader view of things, a more organic view, a non-violent approach to conflict, but these qualities are not prized by society as it is today, as it has been for centuries.

In my view, we have to stop fighting against ourselves. We cannot do it all. We have to love and accept our own values. We can do whatever we want. But should we want to do it all? Women can only lose in this struggle to be both men and women. We have to both go to work and compete for advancement and pay increases and all, while also having to come home and cook and clean and take care of our kids. Sure, men can help. And sometimes they do. Some do it a lot. But we are the ones who have a biological need to keep a clean/healthy house, care for our children, to feed them, to keep them safe. Men do not. Motherhood does not stop at birth. We stay highly wired to the needs of those children, in a way than men just don't. And it's not their fault. It's not our fault either. It's just how things are. Women take care of family and home. It's not a social contract. It's nature. Of course, there are women who have no desire to birth or care for children. Or the men who are much more tuned with their feminine side. We are not all the same and I don't want to generalize too much.

I just feel sad. It has gotten so bad that women are feeling ashamed to call themselves feminist. Because obviously, that is not an attractive trait in this world, is it? No. It is ridiculed to death, despised and viciously attacked.

I think I might have written too much. I don't like long posts, so I am going to stop here. I was going to tell you how my own feminism has evolved over the years, from my first ever job with a women's empowerment NGO. Next time, maybe.

~*L.*~